Happy noises at home

See, things just have a way of getting better.
Pandora's playing Bret Dennin and Cake.
Ribeye and mac n chz for dinner. All comfort food tonight.
From the other room:
"It's time for a bath. Just bring that with you; you can play with it in the bath. D'you want bubbles?"

Keep on rollin'

It's feels a bit like my home life came to a grinding halt since Charles died.

I've called dozens of people to tell them about his death. Set up a dinner and a memorial for him, food, invites, beverages, speeches, flowers. I've dealt with lawyers (2) and tax accountants and signed papers and closed accounts for him. I picked up his ashes. I've got an application in with the IRS for the 501(c)3 and am filling out the board. I'm still doing all of my own work and Charles' too, but that can't work for long.

In the morning, I drop Kyra off at daycare and my newborn off at mum's, who's been a rockstar about watching her, and go to work, and then do the reverse at the end of the day. I'm exhausted by 6:30, but don't collapse until 8:30. I miss my girls.


I keep saying that "once we just get past this next issue, it will be easier." Charles always laughed when I said that. But it will get easier; everything does. And soon enough it will seem like normal again.

And then there's Worldcon, which in the end I am so pleased to be going to. Circumstances notwithstanding, of course. I had really regretted not being able to go to Montreal, but it seemed impossible with the newborn. But we're just going to make it work. Mzmelia's totally on board to help out. She just now starting to come back to herself after the trauma of being with z'boss when he died. I can't even begin to imagine what it was like.

Charles

My boss and my friend, Charles Brown, died on Sunday night, on his flight home from Readercon in MA. I'm writing the editorial in the upcoming issue as editor-in-chief, a promotion that comes at a heavy price. I'll write more about him there, but I'm overcome with thoughts about him, and need to get some of this out.

Working for and being friends with Charles meant taking part in an unending conversation on science fiction, fantasy, horror, the history of fandom, food, jazz, classical music, etc., all of the above interspersed with terrible puns, the occasional shaggy dog story, and jokes you wouldn't tell your mother. He loved to teach, to cook, to share good Scotch and recommendations for music. He had an uncanny sense about people: hated anyone who was fake or overly commercial and was doggedly loyal and protective of those that he loved.

I'm still in shock that he's gone. Despite the fact that he had outlived all expectations and was having health problems, it seemed like he might just last forever out of sheer stubbornness or the need to read one more book or see one more opera. I'm left with the feeling that he might walk in or call me any moment, and we'll take up the right where we left off. I learned from him every time we spoke; the things that he taught me about the SF field, and about life, were immeasurable and constant.

I'm not ready to end the conversation.

Is it Tuesday?

Today: Two hours wasted beating back malware. Ugh. Then time with Mum at the craft store. Bought sock doll making book. How terribly maternal. 45 minutes at the dog park to appease the beasts. Clean house, nurse baby, etc. Now on to Mexican food with the hub and Kyra.

Work is on fire, apparently. Trying to field questions from home but feeling guilty about not being there. I'll be back soon enough, but still.

Then there was this, which cheered me up, no end.

Thanks to Issa for taking it! Yes, that is a tiara made of Peeps, specially for Easter.

Chris Roberson & Allison Baker came to town on a quick vacation and stopped by on the Fourth for some bbq. Steven, Kelly, and Mzmelia came over as well. We had 2-, 3-, 4, and 5-year-old girls running around, wreaking havoc, as they will. It was great, and a bonus to get to hang out with C & A outside of the con context. Less booze and exhaustion, more food and relaxation. All good!

More Pics

oh man, how cute is that?

Baby love.

Missed the Locus Awards ceremony in Seattle, which I spent many hours organizing, and the SF Hall of Fame event . Ah well. From Mzmelia's reports so far, it went smashingly. Had an impressive set of guests, half again as many as the Nebulas did, and still growing! And Seattle is beautiful in June... Next year, for sure!

Will miss Readercon and Worldcon as well. Need the hub to be able to handle both girls before I run off to any good cons. But World Fantasy is in my part of the world, so I'll be there!

Maternity

My garden smells awesome. The brugmansia is going crazy with blooms, the star jasmine is in its full glory, and I'm wondering if the night jessamine is just too much after all.



I just realized I never blogged about the baby being born. Well, needless to say, it happened! Just about the best birth I could have hoped for. Had the hub and a couple of friends -- Hanna, who was an awesome support person (thanks so much for being there!) and Mzmelia, who just made it in time for the big moment! -- there for support. My doc, Jill Foley, MD, was fabulous; and labor was short (4 hours) and for the most part painless (thank you epidural). Then 3, yes that's right one, two, three pushes and the baby was there. Nora Isabel Trombi. My own little Tootsie Pop.

Three days old.

Nora has been a champ thus far. Sleeps for long stretches at night often enough to give me hope of sleeping myself sometime soon! Kyra is, if anything, too affectionate with her. But that's so much nicer than jealous, I can't complain.



We're spending this Saturday morning in the backyard, watering the flowers and eating croissants from the French bakery that moved into the neighborhood recently. Like I said, my garden smells awesome.

Eddy's in the time continuum?

Been hiding out on Facebook. It does take all the fiddly bits of time online up, I have to say. But I like seeing what everyone is doing. I didn't realize how long it has been since I'd posted anything here.

So the maternity bag is packed and in the car. The mini-co-sleeper has been dug out of the garage and is waiting to be set up. My sister keeps going on work trips and has told me she'll give me a list of dates I can have the baby. Ha! Contingency babysitting and dogsitting plans are in place for Kyra and the mutts.

I'm constantly jostled from within by the mini Jane Fonda I am apparently cooking in there. My coworkers marvel at the ripples and bulges my belly displays. Dr. appts a thrice weekly to check on my blood pressure and make sure all is well. All is quiet at the southern border so far.

The urban fantasy issue (May) is at the printer, and Mzmelia has been covering for me diligently at conventions, though I sorely missed going to ICFA and the Nebs. And this summer I'll miss the Locus Awards and Readercon AND Worldcon in Montreal (one of a short list of cities that I have always wanted to visit and haven't made it to yet). But I'm on for the Discworld convention in September, which Z'boss is keen to do -- he's worried about getting to see Terry in the future with both of them curtailng travel. And the WFC is conveniently being held in San Jose, so is any easy one to make it to. Yay! It's my favorite con anyway, so that's something.

Then next year I should be back on a full travel schedule. Might even try to get the whole fam damily out to one, if I can wrangle it.

Dancin' with Mr. Drive-in Movie Theater Speaker

Facebook has renewed its charms for me, as another social group of mine, the Rabbit Choir/Love Props crew, reassembles online and compares notes after some fifteen(?) years. (Wow, it really has been a long time.) I spend more time enjoying the chatter of the others than actively joining in, though I do check on Facebook more now than I had for a few months. Getting to see pics of and read about Stacie, Tami, SuperDave, Chantelle, Tatiana, Gayle, Bob, etc. is something I didn't imagine happening, and it's very cool. I wish I had a bit more time to join in, but with one baby in the house and another on the way -- and the full-time job at the magazine -- it's just too hard to stay awake...

The February issue just about undid me. We haven't had to work that hard on an issue for a while, and it just wipes you out, 'specially iffen yer preggo, como yo. With sales tax and business tax and plain old income tax riding on the tail of it, along with trying to get this new blog launched for the mag, it's been quite a ride.

I did have a strange and wonderful moment of peace last night, quietly knitting and watching House on Hulu.com while the hub and babe took a bath together. It only lasted a short while, but it was good, and I didn't even fall asleep. ;)

More firings

"Call me gullible or impressionable, but I'm actually feeling kind of hopeful this week." Following her unexpected firing yesterday, Sara Nelson must be ruing the opening to her last editorial for Publishers Weekly. Nelson is a brilliant editor and strong leader in the industry, and now is the latest victim of the economic downturn: Reed Business Information, PW's parent company, launched a restructuring which includes cutting 7% of staff. Brian Kenney, editor-in-chief of School Library Journal, will replace Nelson.

This is the news brief I would have written if Locus Online covered the general publishing world like it does SF/F. I read her editorials every week, and really enjoyed her wry humor and insight into the industry. Best of luck to her, and to the other orphaned editors out there, including the Realms of Fantasy folks, Juliet Ulman, Liz Scheier, etc.

YOU'RE HAVING A WHAT?!

(baby girl #2 will arrive mid-May 2009)

World Fantasy in Calgary

World Fantasy was great, over too quickly, and still exhausting. The con itself was in a perfect hotel. Chris Roberson held court in the lounge, and a steady supply of Aussies and Brits also helped keep things lively in the bar. I never really got to dig in there and join in the random, comical conversations that happen in the bar at a good con -- but that's how it always is for me. A little more work than fun. But the work is good, so...

Had dinner with Guy Gavriel Kay and Garth Nix, a couple of the nicest writers you could meet. Wandered around the city with Garth, Shaun Tan, and Jonathan Strahan, then again with Jen West & Ken Scholes after our interview -- which was a lot of fun by the way, and I hope to see it in the Feb or March issue. Dinner with Chris Schelling was a blast -- the restaurant was just over the top, and our waiter had no idea what to do with us.

Didn't get to hang with John Picacio enough. Or Lou and Chris and Allison. Did wander around happily with Daryl Gregory on Friday night. At least I think it was Friday. Oh yeah, Sarah Palin was in the bar; it was definitely Friday. In the way the certain topics repeat themselves during a convention, I ended up in separate but similar conversations with Marc Gascoigne, Lou Anders, John Silbersack, and Diana Gill about the value of SF that brings back the feelings of books we first read as young SF readers, but without the markers that chase off today's young readers (ie saving up boxtops to send away for the free spacesuit and other novel 50s conventions). I like complex SF as much as the next person, but we need some gateway books to get the new readers interested, and YA ain't gonna do it alone. I didn't get my books from the children's section when I was a kid...

Discussions on urban fantasy with Diana, Ginjer Buchanan, Ellen Datlow, Jennifer Heddle (who for some reason I had never hung out with before, but she's great), Beth Meacham, Liz Scheier, and others left me feeling better equipped for the urban fantasy issue I'm putting together for next year -- to look at what's out there, what's good, what's being confused with para-normal romance, etc.

We had a great interview with Graham Joyce, one of my favorite writers -- despite the fact that he doesn't write SF ;). He is a kick to to hang out with. Especially over some whisky. (No really, if you haven't read something by him go read something now. Anything. My favorites are The Facts of Life, The Limits of Enchantment, Smoking Poppy, The Tooth Fairy, Do the Creepy Thing, and I'm reading How to Make Friends With Demons right now.)

Calgary came with a couple of problems. The bone-dry air and the altitude (it's the "kilometer-high city" -- nothing too extraordinary but I do live at sea level) left me suffering from random headaches. And there was a noticeable smell there. One person told me it was from the cattle ranches outside of town. Someone else said the construction site down the block had hit a sewer line. Didn't really make a difference why, it just stank. Like poop. Inside the hotel. Unfortunate. Especially since I am olfactory enhanced in my secondigravidas state.

I made it back from the con to hit the ground running hard here at the mag. We're getting both the awards writeup and con report in this issue instead of breaking them up, which is a huge amount of work for the shortened Thanksgiving sched. But I just handed off the bulk of the work to production today, and it's gravy from here. Great to see you all there! (Thanks to Mzmelia who let me steal from her photos.)

It was fun, but boy was it hot.

In the market in Puerto Vallarta, past the garlic and the dried chiles and just at the bin of overripe mangoes and papayas, there was a smell, really a musk, so disconcerting and memory soaked I had to stop in my tracks to process the experience. I don't even know what the exact memories were, just a full body sort of deja vu, entirely provoked by the smell.

The rest of the trip was mostly unremarkable. Funny how that works. It was nice to be a family hanging out, instead of a family just trying to get all the day-to-day crap done. The hub drank a few too many beers and got a rip-roaring sunburn. I got to play in the ocean with Kyra. We were stunned by how expensive it all was, slapped in the face by the value of the US dollar. I didn't have access to the Internet, so managed to not think about work for several days in a row.

PV is not the Mexico I am in love with, though. Similar, but not the place I used to escape to in my 20s, living in a palapa with a Zapotecan family, reading and swimming and sleeping and beating back my workaholism. I don't really think that Mexico still exists.

It's been a strange week.

Went to my 20-year high school reunion last weekend. I thought perhaps, that after 20 years, the specific high school experience would be not as important to people as having grown up together; the fact that some of these folks went to school K through 12 with me would mean more than the rest. A lot of them were my good friends until middle school when, alarmingly, appearance became more important than... well than anything else. I was wrong. Several people with whom I had been very good friends as a child just seemed remote and uncomfortable. Maybe it was just them. On the other hand, I was pleased to discover that Craig Ruffolo is just a really nice guy, and Josh and Brenda and Charles, among others, continue to be very cool and I was happy to reconnect with them.

The picnic on Sunday, however, was much more laid back. Everyone's kids were running around together. Joe Poppas and I geeked out on SF for a good 45 minutes. Made me feel better about the whole thang.

The strangest moment of the entire weekend was when someone I had considered to be my personal tormentor, the overly handsome male peer in high school whose pointed comments about my appearance and intelligence always stung fiercely (WS for those who would know him), who continued his reign of abuse long after the generic cuts of middle school had ended.... well, he came up to me and said he just wanted to say hello before I left the picnic on Sunday. I was floored. Dumbfounded. If I'd had any idea that he would come up to me, I would have had some pithy offhand remark at the ready. But instead, I made polite conversation, and left in a state of shock. I asked Matt if he thought maybe he'd wanted to say he was sorry; Matt said perhaps that was the apology.

Go figure.

Regardless, I'm done with summer. Bring on the snow!

It was, at least, entertaining in Denver. I'll never forget drinky time.

Home from Denver and Worldcon.

Fun little fact about the Mile High City: it takes 3 months to acclimate to the altitude, till the nausea and fatigue and general malaise (genius or no) finally relent, due to the extra pint of blood your body creates to port around the necessary oxygen for day-to-day functioning. So going there for 6 days is just long enough to truly experience what high altitude feels like. Not a great place to be hungover. Fortunately I managed to go to bed early the first few nights, not get too saucy the big nights, and by the time Sunday rolled around I was going to bed right after dinner. Makes me feel old, but I'm not suffering quite as much, perhaps, as some of my counterparts.

Got to:

See Daryl Gregory again and do an interview with him. He's fun and smart and writes great stories; go read one now.

Hang out with the other 2/3 of my dastardly trio: Blake Charlton and Paolo Bacigalupi. They are just a hoot, and if I could bottle the fun we have I'd be a millionaire.

Saw Jay Lake who again reminded me how cool he is. Never fails. Talked to: Annalee of I09 about blogging and journalism, who patiently dealt with my barrage of questions; David Louis Edelman; Kim Greyson; John Picacio, still the hardest working artist out there; Lou Anders, who made me feel like I might be on track after all; of course all the off-site Locus folks like Gary Wolfe, Mark Kelly, Jonathan Strahan, Graham Sleight, Beth Gwinn; the Hades of Edge SF, who are a couple of the nicest people you could hope to meet; Irene Gallo; Liz Gorinsky, who once again managed to lead the late-night breakfast charge (yay Liz!); Jeremy Lassen; Chris Roberson & Allison Baker (holla!); Vivian Perry, who came to my rescue with a Hugo Awards ceremony dress loan; hmm, who am I forgetting? A ton of people, I'm sure, but it was great to see everyone.

Of course there were many meetings and interviews and publishing discussions and gossip and panels and I am so tired now. But happy I went.

If I can get my butt in gear I will post photos.

Toodles.

Happy Birthday!

Kyra turned one in June.









That was fast.

Locus Awards

The Locus Awards in Seattle were a hit. Bill Gibson's interview with Nancy Pearl was better than I had thought it might be, and the audience was definitely into it. She has her own action figure -- that is very cool. The reception after was small and friendly (except for the errant nutjob who wandered in and had to be escorted out) and gave me a chance to meet some of the folks running Clarion West. I'd never been to the campus at the University in Seattle -- it's beautiful. Made me wish I could go back to school.

Locus Awards ceremony went over without a hitch. Connie, of course, was brilliant as MC, and Duane of University Books said they did all right selling books, which is a good sign. We could probably do one more year at the hotel, then we will be too big for their largest space if the event keeps growing the way it has. On the down side, the SF Hall of Fame ceremony was smaller this year. I know there are a lot of people who think they'll go one of these times, just not this year, but if that keeps up it won't be an event anymore. We'll have to try to drum up more support next year. The SF Museum, on the other hand, seems to be doing very well now and is planning new exhibits for 2009. There is a palpable enthusiasm from the curatorial staff that I haven't seen there since they first opened up.

Feeling blah

I've been reading my friend netmouse's website, and feeling a bit underwhelmed by my own attempts to get back in shape after a long year of no working out (injury followed by pregnancy followed by having an infant to take care of...). Everyone keep saying, "You just had a baby. Stop worrying about it." But I've got to start worrying about it at some point, or I'll just never get back in shape.

I don't fit into my gi.

Those that know, might be able to imagine how depressing that is. I have to order a larger one through my dojo. Agh.

In other news, my baby is awesome. I know, we all feel that way about our own. But she is.

ooh baby

Kyra at work.


Hangin' out at home.