It's melting...

The weather is so dry here we've been using a humidifier in the girls' room. The other morning when I opened the curtains, Kyra saw the condensation and asked, "Mommy, is the glass melting?" Fantastic!

I picked her up from preschool today and we went to ice cream at the place down the street for the first time. It was really pretty lovely. I had been thinking of taking her for a sail at Lake Merritt but they were closed, so ice cream it was.

Nora fell down at school again and has a deep scratch on her leg from it. She's a brave little champ, but she does crash a lot.

Hot days in Grass Valley

When the Hub was off on his golf trip, I went with my sister to her friend's house in Grass Valley. IT WAS HOT THERE. I mean 100 deg reeshot. We had a good time despite the temperature -- there's a lake and we got some new floatie gear and togs so the girls could cruise around in the shallows. In the morning there was a deer sleeping outside the living room door. That was very exciting for the under-4 set. We also went to the Nevada County World Music Festival (pa-CHOO-lee, godzundheit!) which ended up being a lot of fun.

Last night one of my oldest friends came over for dinner with her family. Abi's long been a good friend, even though we actually make actual contact very rarely. She's one of those friends that time and distance don't effect -- I could talk to her about anything, and I trust her implicitly. She brought me a gift -- she hand-binds books and is really very good at it. It was one of those small gestures that mean more than I can describe. Here are a photo or two:

Mouse on the loose

Okay, that last post got me a lot of weird "pray to him and he'll send you signs" kind of comments. Needless to say, they have been banished.

In the first part of our current saga, the pit/lab mix brought in a mouse. Wacky. Then she set it free. Wackier.

My husband told me when I got back from Seattle (the Locus Awards and SF Hall of Fame) that Xochi had brought in the mouse, but then it hid behind first one armoire and then the other in our dining room. The next day I saw the mouse poke its head out, tried to get it out from under the furniture, lost it, decided it must have entered the heating system through the nearby grate. The next day I found it trembling in the toilet bowl. THE TOILET BOWL. Thank pete I saw it! I got a couple rags to grab it with and a bag, succeeded in getting it into the bag, and in the rush to get out of doors, it jumped out and ran under the fridge. Sigh.

Tonight, it poked its head out from under the fridge. We chased it out, it ran over my foot (squeal! and I am so not a squealer.), and then under the sink. The hub gets a large piece of cardboard (hm, shield, maybe?) and I get another bag and start digging everything out from under the sink. No mouse, but a small hole where the dishwasher lines go. Sigh again.

I'll keep you posted. This is perhaps not the most entertaining, but the least stress-laden event in my life right now. There were Locus Awards, and will be Readercon shortly. Life is hard with two toddlers and one big old magazine. There are happy bits now and then.

Today

Today I miss Charles, more than most days. I'm going to sign the loan papers to buy a house, my first house, and it's a big deal. I'm going to owe more money than I've ever even thought about earning. Charles was the person in my life who would tell me I'm doing the right thing, that I'll be glad that I did it, and that it will all be all right. I don't have that person anymore; it was Charles, for a long time now. And I really miss him.

Cons this year

Looking at my schedule for the year, I'm planning on going to:

ICFA, Orlando, March 17-21

Wiscon, Madison WI, May 28-31

Locus Awards, Seattle WA, June 25-27

Readercon, Boston MA, July 6-11

Worldcon, Melbourne AUS, Sept 2-6

World Fantasy Con, Columbus OH, Oct 28-31

Still thinking about Nebs and DragonCon, but haven't decided.

Hope to see you there!

February

February is just a tough issue, period. So many lists and figures to put together, but we made it through, first time without Charles.

Now I'm looking at the con schedule for the year, and started to get excited about what's in store. Got the Locus Awards contracts in place with the hotel, and ready to sell tickets. Looking forward to going to Wiscon for the first time. The Foundation is set up and coming along finally. It's going to be a better year, this year.

On the home front, Nora the Bold started to crawl and then moved straight on to pulling herself to standing. It's exciting, but the idea of a nine month old baby that can walk is a bit daunting when you consider the language barrier...

Kyra made a big jump and potty trained herself pretty much, and is going to start at a new preschool in the next two weeks. Lots of exciting stuff.

Started going to the gym again recently, first time since taking over at the mag. Hoping I can keep it up. I'm combining it with my reading quota, since I can read on the cardio machines, and I have soooo much to read now.

And not to jinx anything, but some good news coming down the pike...

Sunrise, Sunset

On my desk today at home, amongst the flotsam, I have a shareholder letter, the Brown trust for which I am co-trustee, the minutes of last year's foundation meeting, and some instructions for placing your child in a preferred school district. It's just kind of snuck up on me, this whole becoming a responsible adult bit. I knew it was happening in bits and pieces all along, but Charles' death has truly hammered it home.

I'm home today taking care of the toddler with flu, which is a worrisome thing. But also reading people's blog posts about WFC and glad I went. I had a great time, though I worked too much and wore myself out. Now I'm working through my own con crud and compulsively taking my daughter's temp every half hour or so. And getting the Recommended List ball rolling finally. A little later than I had hoped, but still within parameters.

Good to see everyone in San Jose. If I get a chance, I'll write a proper post about it...

Not that spring chicken...

Had my first biopsy a few weeks ago. Came back negative. Tarrum tarrah!... I'm still feeling old.

In other news, significant and stressful hurdles have been overcome and tequila will be implemented in celebration. All the same, Friday nights just ain't what they used to be.

Puddle o' cute

Nora getting ready for the Hugos.

At the bar in the Intercontinental with mum.

Happy noises at home

See, things just have a way of getting better.
Pandora's playing Bret Dennin and Cake.
Ribeye and mac n chz for dinner. All comfort food tonight.
From the other room:
"It's time for a bath. Just bring that with you; you can play with it in the bath. D'you want bubbles?"

Keep on rollin'

It's feels a bit like my home life came to a grinding halt since Charles died.

I've called dozens of people to tell them about his death. Set up a dinner and a memorial for him, food, invites, beverages, speeches, flowers. I've dealt with lawyers (2) and tax accountants and signed papers and closed accounts for him. I picked up his ashes. I've got an application in with the IRS for the 501(c)3 and am filling out the board. I'm still doing all of my own work and Charles' too, but that can't work for long.

In the morning, I drop Kyra off at daycare and my newborn off at mum's, who's been a rockstar about watching her, and go to work, and then do the reverse at the end of the day. I'm exhausted by 6:30, but don't collapse until 8:30. I miss my girls.


I keep saying that "once we just get past this next issue, it will be easier." Charles always laughed when I said that. But it will get easier; everything does. And soon enough it will seem like normal again.

And then there's Worldcon, which in the end I am so pleased to be going to. Circumstances notwithstanding, of course. I had really regretted not being able to go to Montreal, but it seemed impossible with the newborn. But we're just going to make it work. Mzmelia's totally on board to help out. She just now starting to come back to herself after the trauma of being with z'boss when he died. I can't even begin to imagine what it was like.

Charles

My boss and my friend, Charles Brown, died on Sunday night, on his flight home from Readercon in MA. I'm writing the editorial in the upcoming issue as editor-in-chief, a promotion that comes at a heavy price. I'll write more about him there, but I'm overcome with thoughts about him, and need to get some of this out.

Working for and being friends with Charles meant taking part in an unending conversation on science fiction, fantasy, horror, the history of fandom, food, jazz, classical music, etc., all of the above interspersed with terrible puns, the occasional shaggy dog story, and jokes you wouldn't tell your mother. He loved to teach, to cook, to share good Scotch and recommendations for music. He had an uncanny sense about people: hated anyone who was fake or overly commercial and was doggedly loyal and protective of those that he loved.

I'm still in shock that he's gone. Despite the fact that he had outlived all expectations and was having health problems, it seemed like he might just last forever out of sheer stubbornness or the need to read one more book or see one more opera. I'm left with the feeling that he might walk in or call me any moment, and we'll take up the right where we left off. I learned from him every time we spoke; the things that he taught me about the SF field, and about life, were immeasurable and constant.

I'm not ready to end the conversation.

Is it Tuesday?

Today: Two hours wasted beating back malware. Ugh. Then time with Mum at the craft store. Bought sock doll making book. How terribly maternal. 45 minutes at the dog park to appease the beasts. Clean house, nurse baby, etc. Now on to Mexican food with the hub and Kyra.

Work is on fire, apparently. Trying to field questions from home but feeling guilty about not being there. I'll be back soon enough, but still.

Then there was this, which cheered me up, no end.

Thanks to Issa for taking it! Yes, that is a tiara made of Peeps, specially for Easter.

Chris Roberson & Allison Baker came to town on a quick vacation and stopped by on the Fourth for some bbq. Steven, Kelly, and Mzmelia came over as well. We had 2-, 3-, 4, and 5-year-old girls running around, wreaking havoc, as they will. It was great, and a bonus to get to hang out with C & A outside of the con context. Less booze and exhaustion, more food and relaxation. All good!

More Pics

oh man, how cute is that?

Baby love.

Missed the Locus Awards ceremony in Seattle, which I spent many hours organizing, and the SF Hall of Fame event . Ah well. From Mzmelia's reports so far, it went smashingly. Had an impressive set of guests, half again as many as the Nebulas did, and still growing! And Seattle is beautiful in June... Next year, for sure!

Will miss Readercon and Worldcon as well. Need the hub to be able to handle both girls before I run off to any good cons. But World Fantasy is in my part of the world, so I'll be there!

Maternity

My garden smells awesome. The brugmansia is going crazy with blooms, the star jasmine is in its full glory, and I'm wondering if the night jessamine is just too much after all.



I just realized I never blogged about the baby being born. Well, needless to say, it happened! Just about the best birth I could have hoped for. Had the hub and a couple of friends -- Hanna, who was an awesome support person (thanks so much for being there!) and Mzmelia, who just made it in time for the big moment! -- there for support. My doc, Jill Foley, MD, was fabulous; and labor was short (4 hours) and for the most part painless (thank you epidural). Then 3, yes that's right one, two, three pushes and the baby was there. Nora Isabel Trombi. My own little Tootsie Pop.

Three days old.

Nora has been a champ thus far. Sleeps for long stretches at night often enough to give me hope of sleeping myself sometime soon! Kyra is, if anything, too affectionate with her. But that's so much nicer than jealous, I can't complain.



We're spending this Saturday morning in the backyard, watering the flowers and eating croissants from the French bakery that moved into the neighborhood recently. Like I said, my garden smells awesome.

Eddy's in the time continuum?

Been hiding out on Facebook. It does take all the fiddly bits of time online up, I have to say. But I like seeing what everyone is doing. I didn't realize how long it has been since I'd posted anything here.

So the maternity bag is packed and in the car. The mini-co-sleeper has been dug out of the garage and is waiting to be set up. My sister keeps going on work trips and has told me she'll give me a list of dates I can have the baby. Ha! Contingency babysitting and dogsitting plans are in place for Kyra and the mutts.

I'm constantly jostled from within by the mini Jane Fonda I am apparently cooking in there. My coworkers marvel at the ripples and bulges my belly displays. Dr. appts a thrice weekly to check on my blood pressure and make sure all is well. All is quiet at the southern border so far.

The urban fantasy issue (May) is at the printer, and Mzmelia has been covering for me diligently at conventions, though I sorely missed going to ICFA and the Nebs. And this summer I'll miss the Locus Awards and Readercon AND Worldcon in Montreal (one of a short list of cities that I have always wanted to visit and haven't made it to yet). But I'm on for the Discworld convention in September, which Z'boss is keen to do -- he's worried about getting to see Terry in the future with both of them curtailng travel. And the WFC is conveniently being held in San Jose, so is any easy one to make it to. Yay! It's my favorite con anyway, so that's something.

Then next year I should be back on a full travel schedule. Might even try to get the whole fam damily out to one, if I can wrangle it.

Dancin' with Mr. Drive-in Movie Theater Speaker

Facebook has renewed its charms for me, as another social group of mine, the Rabbit Choir/Love Props crew, reassembles online and compares notes after some fifteen(?) years. (Wow, it really has been a long time.) I spend more time enjoying the chatter of the others than actively joining in, though I do check on Facebook more now than I had for a few months. Getting to see pics of and read about Stacie, Tami, SuperDave, Chantelle, Tatiana, Gayle, Bob, etc. is something I didn't imagine happening, and it's very cool. I wish I had a bit more time to join in, but with one baby in the house and another on the way -- and the full-time job at the magazine -- it's just too hard to stay awake...

The February issue just about undid me. We haven't had to work that hard on an issue for a while, and it just wipes you out, 'specially iffen yer preggo, como yo. With sales tax and business tax and plain old income tax riding on the tail of it, along with trying to get this new blog launched for the mag, it's been quite a ride.

I did have a strange and wonderful moment of peace last night, quietly knitting and watching House on Hulu.com while the hub and babe took a bath together. It only lasted a short while, but it was good, and I didn't even fall asleep. ;)

More firings

"Call me gullible or impressionable, but I'm actually feeling kind of hopeful this week." Following her unexpected firing yesterday, Sara Nelson must be ruing the opening to her last editorial for Publishers Weekly. Nelson is a brilliant editor and strong leader in the industry, and now is the latest victim of the economic downturn: Reed Business Information, PW's parent company, launched a restructuring which includes cutting 7% of staff. Brian Kenney, editor-in-chief of School Library Journal, will replace Nelson.

This is the news brief I would have written if Locus Online covered the general publishing world like it does SF/F. I read her editorials every week, and really enjoyed her wry humor and insight into the industry. Best of luck to her, and to the other orphaned editors out there, including the Realms of Fantasy folks, Juliet Ulman, Liz Scheier, etc.

YOU'RE HAVING A WHAT?!

(baby girl #2 will arrive mid-May 2009)

World Fantasy in Calgary

World Fantasy was great, over too quickly, and still exhausting. The con itself was in a perfect hotel. Chris Roberson held court in the lounge, and a steady supply of Aussies and Brits also helped keep things lively in the bar. I never really got to dig in there and join in the random, comical conversations that happen in the bar at a good con -- but that's how it always is for me. A little more work than fun. But the work is good, so...

Had dinner with Guy Gavriel Kay and Garth Nix, a couple of the nicest writers you could meet. Wandered around the city with Garth, Shaun Tan, and Jonathan Strahan, then again with Jen West & Ken Scholes after our interview -- which was a lot of fun by the way, and I hope to see it in the Feb or March issue. Dinner with Chris Schelling was a blast -- the restaurant was just over the top, and our waiter had no idea what to do with us.

Didn't get to hang with John Picacio enough. Or Lou and Chris and Allison. Did wander around happily with Daryl Gregory on Friday night. At least I think it was Friday. Oh yeah, Sarah Palin was in the bar; it was definitely Friday. In the way the certain topics repeat themselves during a convention, I ended up in separate but similar conversations with Marc Gascoigne, Lou Anders, John Silbersack, and Diana Gill about the value of SF that brings back the feelings of books we first read as young SF readers, but without the markers that chase off today's young readers (ie saving up boxtops to send away for the free spacesuit and other novel 50s conventions). I like complex SF as much as the next person, but we need some gateway books to get the new readers interested, and YA ain't gonna do it alone. I didn't get my books from the children's section when I was a kid...

Discussions on urban fantasy with Diana, Ginjer Buchanan, Ellen Datlow, Jennifer Heddle (who for some reason I had never hung out with before, but she's great), Beth Meacham, Liz Scheier, and others left me feeling better equipped for the urban fantasy issue I'm putting together for next year -- to look at what's out there, what's good, what's being confused with para-normal romance, etc.

We had a great interview with Graham Joyce, one of my favorite writers -- despite the fact that he doesn't write SF ;). He is a kick to to hang out with. Especially over some whisky. (No really, if you haven't read something by him go read something now. Anything. My favorites are The Facts of Life, The Limits of Enchantment, Smoking Poppy, The Tooth Fairy, Do the Creepy Thing, and I'm reading How to Make Friends With Demons right now.)

Calgary came with a couple of problems. The bone-dry air and the altitude (it's the "kilometer-high city" -- nothing too extraordinary but I do live at sea level) left me suffering from random headaches. And there was a noticeable smell there. One person told me it was from the cattle ranches outside of town. Someone else said the construction site down the block had hit a sewer line. Didn't really make a difference why, it just stank. Like poop. Inside the hotel. Unfortunate. Especially since I am olfactory enhanced in my secondigravidas state.

I made it back from the con to hit the ground running hard here at the mag. We're getting both the awards writeup and con report in this issue instead of breaking them up, which is a huge amount of work for the shortened Thanksgiving sched. But I just handed off the bulk of the work to production today, and it's gravy from here. Great to see you all there! (Thanks to Mzmelia who let me steal from her photos.)